From My Kids' Perspective

A conversation between my eight- and ten-year old, as relayed to me by their father:

"I can't wait 'til April 8."

"Yeah, when Mom can drive again."

My ten year old, "I bet she'll never drink again. She could get in so much trouble! [and to his dad] She could go to jail, and then we'd have to live with you for a year!

Dad, amused at their horror at living with him for A WHOLE YEAR, says diplomatically, "well, I think we've all learned a lot this year."

The ten year-old persists,

"And we'd have to visit her in jail and it would be like going to that hospital in the middle of the water."

Dad puzzles over this description, and finally comes up with,

"Alcatraz?"

"Yeah."

It's just a good thing that 10 year-olds aren't tasked with determining sentences for misdemeanors.