I have a blister on the ball of my foot because yesterday I forgot the flip flops I've been wearing to walk to and from the bus stop. I had to walk the 3/4 mile or so in my heels.
All in all, the week went okay. Riding the bus means I have to wake up quite a bit earlier, which frankly sucks. The first morning I had the kids was a disaster. A woke up with a sprained/broken/swollen finger. I didn't know what to do--if I could drive, I'd just take W to school, A and I would go to the urgent care, and then I'd drop him at school later. But as it was, after 7:30, there are no more express buses downtown, plus how would I get to urgent care? On my bike, with A on the handlebars?
My neighbor, who was going to drive me to the bus stop and the kids to school, arrived. By then, it was clear that all A really needed was his finger wrapped. I did that, but I'd missed the bus. We dropped the kids at school and then my neighbor offered to drive me to work. I accepted.
Which brings me to a problem I'm having--accepting help from people. I'm an able-bodied woman with a job. I feel like I should take care of my problems myself. But the truth is, I just can't do this all by myself. The few friends and neighbors I've told about the DUI have been amazing, falling all over themselves to help. I'm so embarrassed to accept their help, even though I know I'd do the same for them if I could. The kids' dad has been amazing, too, even though he and I are trying to unwind our marriage. I feel like I'm building up a debt I will never repay, and that really frightens me.
At least the bus pass works.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Andrea: You reap what you sow. Your friends and neighbors want to help you because you are an incredible friend yourself. My guess is that you are just drawing down on some of the goodwill you've stored up in your own account for so many years.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, ESNS is not an anonymous stalker; I guess you could say it is my alter-ego, back from the days when I was president of the board at East Side Nursery School . . .
ReplyDeleteYou have already started "repaying" with your expressed gratitude. The last thing you need is more guilt/pressure, don't think so much of yourself and your needs as separate from your friends and neighbors. If it makes you feel better, remember you aren't that big of a deal to the universe.
ReplyDelete